Life Lessons

Ignorance allows governments to write off the deaths of soldiers as mere ‘collateral damage.’ Ignorance allows us to drive our cars and pollute our air and our oceans and leave plastic bags and bottles and cigarette butts behind because we choose not to see or acknowledge the damaging effects of our actions. Ignorance allows people to turn a blind eye to human suffering, to animal cruelty, to police brutality, to sex trafficking, and to domestic violence and domestic terrorism.

Ignorance allows people to turn a blind eye. But, just because you turn your head in the other direction, does not mean that the reality we are all living in does not exist. Just because your head is in the sand does not mean that the world around you is just fine as it is. So, please, if you find yourself sticking your head in the sand—stop it. Guaranteed…If you spend your life with your head in the sand, it will seep into your eyes, your nose, your mouth and eventually suffocate you. I implore you or anyone else reading this message, please stop convincing yourself that ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is the opposite of bliss. Ignorance is grief, misery, and indifference shrouded in a gauzy, ephemeral, specious cloak.

Ignorance Is NOT Bliss.

They need to get to a lower place than they currently reside. They need to hit bottom or near bottom. So, if you have friends that are pushing against your attempts at helping them, it means that they have not hit bottom yet. If they still have fight enough in them to fight off your attempts at helping, then they are not ready. If they fight you and resist your help, that means that you need to let it go for now.

This rescue mission will be met with resistance and inevitably fail because the person that needs rescuing is not ready for your help. When that individual is truly ready to be rescued, that person will have likely, finally reached bottom. The individual needing rescuing will no longer have enough energy to resist your rescue efforts.

This is an important lesson that I am imparting. I have been personally hurt after coming to the rescue of people who I considered to be dear friends and family. Furthermore, my mom has been deeply hurt by people she tried to rescue. I hope that you learn from our mistakes while simultaneously avoiding the same traps in which my mother and I have been ensnared. I do not want you to become a victim like we were. I do not want that type of experience to slap you in the face such that you end up jaded when it comes to helping others.

You are probably great at helping people and can do so much good for so many people; however, do not waste that gift. Do not waste that energy on trying to pull people up who are not yet ready to get off the ground.

Your job is to be the loving and supportive friend that you are. You should be there for your friends. They would greatly benefit from your demonstration of genuine concern. But, do NOT feel like you need to swoop in and rescue anybody. When your friend or family members is finally open to the notion that they need to be rescued by you, when they are truly ready, I guarantee that they will tell you that they need rescuing under no uncertain terms.

So, do not feel like you need to swoop in and save anybody. I have learned from past experience that attempting to rescue people who are not ready can cause significant damage to your relationship dynamic. If your friends want to be rescued, they will be very clear that they need your help. But, if they are telling you that they are fine and they’ve got this, you need to back off.

You need to accept their message and allow them to figure things out on their own. You need to allow them to move forward on their path without your assistance, even if it means that your friend or family member ends up stumbling, hurting themselves and others, and encountering significant failures along the way. It is through these mistakes that they will actually learn and become open to the idea that they need to make significant changes in their lives. So sometimes you just need to take a step back and allow people to face their own demons with nobody holding their hand along the way. The mistakes they make on the path to enlightenment and the struggles they face teach them grit. The struggle teaches them perseverance. And, their grittiness gives them the tools they need to overcome adversity and thrive.

However,

If you are going to apologize, that doesn’t mean anything if you continue to do what you claim you are sorry for. If you are going to offer help, that doesn’t mean anything if you do not actually provide help. If you are going to say you love someone, that doesn’t mean anything if you do not demonstrate that love.

It is time to show others that your actions support your words and that your words hold muster. Please remember, your words have weight. But, words alone are not enough. It is equally important to demonstrate to that your word is your bond. Yes, words have power, but words alone are not enough. We need to start supporting our words with our actions because:

Words + Actions Can Make Real Change.