Moms need to put their oxygen mask on before assisting others. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t possibly be of service to our children, family, and friends. I have forgotten this important piece of advice countless times and it has left me depressed and unable to carry out my daily functions with any enthusiasm.
I’ve been feeling depressed lately. I felt it this morning as I listlessly packed my kids’ soccer cleats and shin guards, water bottles, and snacks, and sat through their soccer games with just the tiniest hint of passable enthusiasm. I couldn’t be there a hundred percent, and because I’m a good mom, I was hating myself for being like that. Other moms were congratulating their children on their really great attempts at making a goal, and I was halfheartedly doing the same for my own children. But, I knew that my accolades didn’t compare to those other moms. I was indifferent at best.
It is OK not to be there 100% for your kids.
Sometimes it’s hard to be there 100%. It is hard to be the Pinterest perfect mom. And quite frankly, I have been that mom, and it’s exhausting as hell. Sometimes it takes so much out of you that you have nothing more to give, and you just want to collapse afterward. But the problem is: your kids and spouse never stop needing or wanting stuff from you!
So, I leave you with this piece of advice: don’t beat yourself up for being less than perfect. Don’t make yourself feel bad about not being there a hundred percent for your children sometimes. Nobody can be a hundred percent for someone else a hundred percent of the time. If you are always a hundred percent super mom for your kids, eventually your well is going to run dry. You will have nothing left for them or anyone else, especially yourself. It is okay, probably even better, if you give fifty percent of yourself to your kids and spouse and keep the other fifty percent for yourself. You need to repeat the flight attendants’ safety message mantra to yourself:
Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.
If you can’t breathe, then you can’t possibly help anyone else. So, I’m saying this to my fellow moms: it is okay to put yourself first. Do not forget about yourself in your journey as mother and wife…because you are central to that journey and just as important as the other people in your life.