Why are Kids Toys so Damn Small?

Why are kids toys so damn small?

I swear, kid’s toys are getting smaller and smaller by the day.

Some of these toys are practically microscopic. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a missing LOL doll’s boot? These tiny shoes for the LOL dolls literally measure 3 millimeters wide. That’s right, I actually took a ruler to these things. One of the problems with these tiny toys is that just because they are tiny does not mean that they are any less important to your child. All it means is that they are much more difficult to find when they get lost in the sea of other LOL doll clothing and accessories.

Tiny toys are difficult to find.

I am very fortunate. I have a cleaning lady that comes to my house every other week. But, do you have any idea how many times I have rummaged through the dust and debris in a garbage bag to find one of these accessories? Let’s just say, it has been a frequent event…and not a pleasant one at that. And, I get it, it is virtually impossible to distinguish a part of an LOL wig from a dust bunny. So, as a result, I am often doing a full sweep of all of the LOLs and their accessories that are on the floor before my cleaning lady comes. G-d forbid one of these accessories goes missing. The hunt could go on for days, and depending on how important the accessory is to my daughter, she may remind me daily to look for it for up to a month until we both finally forget about it or just give up.

Tiny toys are practically impossible to replace.

The other problem with these tiny toys is that they are virtually impossible to replace. Back in the day when your child lost their favorite binky or pacifier, it was fairly easy to find a substitute. Maybe it wouldn’t be as worn as the old binky, but at least it was the same basic stuffed animal or blanket. However, these LOL dolls come in “surprise packages.” This means that you don’t know what you might get. You can purchase a dozen LOL little sisters and still not find the one you need to replace. I swear to you, this is all a mass marketing scheme. You lose an accessory that is important to your child, you better be prepared to have to purchase a dozen LOL little sisters in the hopes of finding THE ONE.

Tiny toys hurt a LOT when you step on them.

Legos are a tiny toy that you can find in most households, and it is virtually impossible to find the missing Lego piece to a creation that your child is building. Sometimes you can find it by combing over the floor in a pattern that mimics a Zamboni. You are combing over the floor trying to find a needle in a haystack. More often than not, you only find it when you eventually step on it. If you have never stepped on a Lego piece, you are in for a real treat. It hurts like a motherfucker. If you are me, you are accidentally shouting expletives in front of your child. You are holding onto your foot like somebody just stabbed you in the foot.

Girls and boys BOTH love tiny toys!

The affinity for tiny toys is not just common among little girls. Boys have the same problem. In addition to the Legos, my son also has Nerf guns. These foam bullets get shot half way across a room, and they are very difficult to find if you were not following their flight trajectory. Additionally, my son’s favorite stuffed animals are these three tiny stuffed animals that he got in a goody bag. They each measure about 2 inches wide, and we are honestly looking for them every night before bed because he must sleep with them beside him. The problem is, there is a sea of blankets and other larger stuffed animals on his bed. And guess what? He rolls around all night. So, who knows where his three favorite stuffed animals end up by morning?

Manufacturers: Can you please start making these toys bigger?

This is a call out to anybody in the toy manufacturing industry. Let’s start making the toys bigger. Please. Or, for every toy that you receive, maybe it should come in a double pack where you get one for your child, and one just to hold onto in case accessories or bullets or lego pieces should go missing. Lastly, for the moms who are so sweet to include so many tiny toys in their kids’ goody bags. I would much rather you just give them a $5 target gift card that I can pocket or even just a cookie that they can eat at the party before we leave.

The little tchotchkes that my children hold so dear, are filling up every drawer and toy bin in my house. Furthermore, when these dollar store tchotchkes break and my children love them and look at me with those sad, doe eyes, it is a real problem for me. All of a sudden, I feel the need to replace them, even though I never wanted them in the first place. I could give two shits about this little toy. But, this little toy brought my children a lot of joy, and its sudden disappearance is breaking their little heart, and my children wear their hearts on their sleeves. The tears will start coming down. The wails will be unleashed from their little lungs. It seems like the end of their world.

So, I buy a replacement tiny toy, and the vicious cycle begins once more.

Published by SuziTalk

I'm a SAHM, blogger, singer, Ph.D. I talk about real issues affecting real people. I share the mistakes that I have made in my own relationships with my spouse and children, so that others can learn from my experiences.

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