Longevity Does Not Equal Security

Longevity does not equal security in a relationship

I used to think that there was security in longevity.

I would look at married couples who have been together for 10, 20, 30 years and assume that they would stay together forever. Supposedly, they got past the tough part together and from then on it should be smooth sailing for them. However, now, I have come to realize that there is not really very much security in the longevity of a marriage. I’ve been married for 15 years, but sometimes I feel like it is a ticking time bomb that is ready to explode (Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, lol). With every passing year any resentment that we’ve held continues to grow. With every passing year, any anger or hostility that a couple bears continues to fester. Moreover, with every passing year, any underlying issues, jealousies, or sadness continues to stew.

With every year, another five, ten, fifteen fights between a married couple gets added to the accumulating tally. And, by the time a couple is married for ten or twenty years, the accumulation of tally marks may exceed what a page can hold.

We may be able to forgive our partner for the pain and hurt and suffering that s/he caused, but we never forget. That pain and hurt and suffering hangs over us like a cloud. And when the storm starts brewing and the clouds come in, the inevitable torrential rainstorm gets stronger with every argument.

Published by SuziTalk

I'm a SAHM, blogger, singer, Ph.D. I talk about real issues affecting real people. I share the mistakes that I have made in my own relationships with my spouse and children, so that others can learn from my experiences.

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